The trail was beautiful today, but the weather was a tad hot (28C? in the sun) and some combination of my sore knees, tired legs and hot conditions made me cranky today.
Journaling this later in the day as I listen to the rain on our tent, feel clean (more on that in next entry), well fed and dry, I feel there was no logical reason for my malaise earlier today, except perhaps physical pain, which sucks.
My emotions and physical tiredness reminded me of the AT and it was not a good feeling. The AT was a slog on many days and for this backpacking vacation I did not want any slog. So to feel this was was both discouraging and brought back painful memories and personal and marital struggles from that time.
And then we went swimming in the river and everything improved for the day. But the experience of “going back there” to my trail depression, to start feeling all those emotions that have been buried in my body, was unpleasant.
I’ve been having a great time on this trip and starting to dream of other trips and hikes but my legs can’t hike like they used to (unless I make something serious training efforts, which is not out of the question) and I feel hindered and held back by my body. And also tripped up in the emotions stored in my body’s trail-related pain.
The day improved but for awhile there I was back on the AT in 2014 and it wasn’t a great feeling.
